Lady Luck was kind to me, and I was able to secure admission to BITS Pilani for a 4-year Computer Science degree in 1998, just as the reign of computers had begun. Computers had started influencing almost every aspect of human life.
Initially, I was enrolled in a 5-year dual degree instead of a 4-year core CS degree due to a lack of enough percentile score. However, I wanted to transfer to the core degree to save a year. I decided to strive for a perfect 10 GPA to secure the transfer, but there was a twist.
I was told that college days are the golden years, and probably the last chance to live a carefree life before being thrown into a world of worries and responsibilities. Until then, I had spent most of my life fretting on the two generation old ugly study chair at my home, literally developing boils on my ass due to long hours of sitting. It was time to make up for lost opportunities. But where do I begin? Well, first things first.
“You have been single too long. It’s time you lost your stag tag!” My inner voice told me.
Can you defy your inner voice? I could not, so I began looking for prospects. and soon after, I met a girl.
Her name was Sudha. She was a Tamilian from Mumbai who came from a well-educated family. She belonged to the pharmacy discipline in my batch. We soon became good friends, but you know the drill. She was chosen. It was a premeditated plan from day one. She was going to be my girlfriend, and I was waiting for the right moment to express my feelings. The time came a month later, but I still lacked the courage to tell her in person. This was my first time, and I was too shy to say it face to face, so I came up with a brilliant plan.
One night, I sat down and began jotting down my feelings on A4 size paper. By the time I finished, I had written five full A4 sheets of paper! Boy, was I elaborate! But I still lacked the courage to hand her the letter personally, so I came upon another brilliant plan. “Email! After all, I’m a computer engineer!” I thought.
However, there was a slight problem. I had never touched a computer keyboard before joining college, and typing so much was a mammoth task.
“Saurabh! Yes, he will be my savior!” I thought, and my face lit up with hope.
Saurabh was my batchmate from Gujarat, a typical nerd who had secured admission to the core CS degree because of his perfect 100 percentile. He was short and fat, wore thick, almost bulletproof eyeglasses, and combed his hair flat. He would dump a zillion gallons of oil on his head that would give his hair a shiny luster. I had seen him typing on the computer before, and his fingers ran through the keyboard as Usain Bolt ran on the track. He had confessed to me that the secret of his speed was a typewriting course that he had taken in school, and that extraordinary skill was sure to come to my rescue today.
It was already 2 am when I finished writing the draft, but it was hard to contain my excitement, let alone wait until morning. So, I went up to Saurabh’s room and knocked on his door.
“Oye, Gujju, wake up!” I shouted. I called him Gujju because he was from Gujarat.
Saurabh used to sleep with cotton balls in his ears, so I didn’t expect him to wake up at the first knock. So, I knocked a few more times, harder every time.
“Oye, wake up, you bull! I need you!” I shouted again.
A few minutes later, he opened the door, still rubbing his eyes and wearing his bulletproof eyeglasses. I’m sure he would be declared technically blind without his eyeglasses.
“What the fuck! These seniors already don’t let me sleep, ragging me all day long, and now I have to deal with my batchmates. Life sucks! I was happy back in Gujarat!” He said, visibly annoyed.
“Come on, man. A friend in need is a friend indeed!” I grinned and handed him my love letter draft. He looked at it, read a couple of lines, and his eyes sparkled. He had already lost his sleep.
“Sudha..the pharmacy girl?” He asked with a devilish smile on his face.
“Mm..hmm.” I grinned.
“So, you want me to deliver this letter to her on your behalf?” He asked.
“Hell No! That’s old school shit, man! We are computer engineers, and we use email!” I could see I had infused pride in him at that moment.
“Type! Type it for me. It will take me a week to type all this. I have seen you typing like a superman! So come with me to the computer center and help me send this to her!” I continued in excitement.
He paused for a moment, probably deciding whether to go or not, but the pride of being a computer engineer was at stake.
“Okay. But when did this happen?” He asked as he put on his t-shirt.
“I will tell you the details later. Now let’s haul ass. I can’t wait to send it to her.” I said as I dragged him with me towards the computer center.
When we entered the computer center, there were only a few souls around who either had nothing useful to do or were trying to hide from the seniors to evade ragging. We took a corner seat, and Saurabh started typing the letter without wasting a second. He finished typing the entire letter within 45 minutes. Not only did he type the letter, but he also created a giant “I Love You” word art in the email. In those days of primitive telnet email on a Unix system, it was quite a feat. Boy, was I impressed!
Once we finished, we returned to our respective rooms, feeling victorious. I went to sleep with the thought that the love of my life was going to give me a gate call (the method used to call boys or girls out of the hostel since they were not allowed to enter each other’s hostels) the next morning and wrap her arms around me and tell me that she loved me too! Tomorrow was going to be the day when I would officially throw off the ugly tag of being single.
The next morning, I was indeed woken up by a gate call.
“There you go! The victory!” I was delighted. My face lit up like a thousand-watt bulb. I quickly put on a t-shirt and ran into the bathroom to dress up. Within moments, I was out to meet her with a blush on my face and shyness dripping all over the place.
“I’d like to talk to you,” she said and pointed towards the road, suggesting we take a walk.
We started walking towards the temple, which was on the campus. It was her favorite place to be whenever she was alone or needed spiritual guidance.
“Aha! She wants to express her feelings privately!” I was giddy with the thought.
Once we were in the temple, we sat on the lawn, and she looked at me and said, “Look, I like you. In fact, I like you very much, but as a friend. This is just not possible, but I don’t want to lose you as a friend!” She said while tying a blade of grass on my thumb.
She had just dropped an atom bomb far fatter than the “Fat Man” dropped on Nagasaki.
“What the fuck just happened? What went wrong?” I was confused, and all my excitement evaporated.
“My parents won’t like it. I will only fall in love with the man I marry,” she continued.
I was bombed to ashes, and there was no coming back from this. We kept looking at each other, not knowing what to say further. After a few minutes of awkward silence, we figured it was best to leave it right there. We bid goodbye and went back to our respective hostels.
“She rejected me! How could she?” I felt like a dejected Romeo. “That’s it. I’m never going to talk to her ever again!” I resolved.
Puff your sorrows away
I was hurting, and the pain came at a very wrong time. I had already messed up my academics so far because I was always thinking about her and ways to placate her, and the rejection made it worse. My dream of achieving a GPA of 10 was on shaky ground. I was sad and sulking in a corner of my room.
“What should I do to lighten myself up? Life is unfair and depressing,” I convinced myself.
And then I remembered the movie Devdas, and I seemed to have found a way out. So, I went up to one of my batchmates who was not only a drunk but also a chain smoker.
“Manoj, I need some whiskey and a cigarette!” I asked him in despair.
“But I thought you don’t drink and smoke. Is everything okay?” He looked genuinely surprised at my request.
“No man…nothing is okay. Life sucks. It’s full of suffering, and I need a way out!” I said in anguish.
“And you think whiskey and cigarette is the way out?” He asked sympathetically.
“I don’t know, but that’s what they do in movies. Don’t they?” I asked.
He laughed and, without any response, pulled out the cigarette pack that he hid under his pillow.
“Well, my friend, I ran out of whiskey tonight, but here…Take two of these and puff your sorrows away!” He said, handing me the cigarettes.
I couldn’t wait to light one up. The moment I took the first puff, I started coughing wildly.
“How the hell do you smoke this thing?” I asked in distress.
“That’s the problem with rookies. Let me show you how to smoke this thing,” he said and took a puff, exhaled the smoke, and explained how to inhale my next puff.
By the time our first cigarette was finished, I had almost perfected the art of smoking. I went back to my room and practiced the rest on the second cigarette he gave me, and by the time I finished my second cigarette, I was already blowing smoke rings! And that was the beginning of my long-time tryst with Nicotine.
With a stroke of luck, I was able to get an “A” grade in all subjects and achieve a GPA of 10. I secured a transfer from the 5-year dual degree to a 4-year Computer Science degree. With the burden of the transfer lifted, this marked the last time I ever attended a class or opened a book sincerely. Loafing around the campus aimlessly with friends became the new norm. I was all set to enjoy the rest of my college time.
The second year of college was a lackluster affair, as tedious and mundane as the daily routine of a married couple in the twentieth year of their marriage. So much so that my recollection of that entire year is a blur.
The third year however, looked promising and exciting. At the pretext of doing assignments and the excuse that the college computer center was always busy, I was able to convince my father to buy me a state-of-the-art computer, boasting a 500 MHz CPU, 64 MB RAM, 10 GB hard disk, and a floppy drive! Back then, 10 GB seemed like an infinite disk space. I could never imagine filling up that endless expanse of space. But in college life, no space is infinite. Very soon it was loaded with the stuff which all of us in the hostel shared. When the stuff got obsolete, there was always someone in the hostel who had the new stuff. I would leave that up to your imagination to expand on the nature of the stuff, but I am sure you already have a good idea. The Yamaha speakers attached to the computer would blast rock and metal music all day; the sound of which could be heard until the main building of the college. Life was good, except that I was still “solo“.
By now, I had resigned myself to the possibility of being forever alone and graduating from the college in shame.
“Focus on your studies in school, young fella…girls will come easy in college.” is what my friend had advised me in school. I believed his words and worked hard in school but it all seemed in vain.
Just as I was about to give up, a new girl from my state enrolled in the college. Her name was Reena and I was introduced to her during an initiation (ragging) session, and she was instantly captivated by my accidental academic accomplishments. Yep, the GPA of 10 is capable of casting a spell and creating an aura of grandeur around your head, even when you are a noob! The hard work that I had deemed futile was finally paying off. Things got off to a great start, and the spark between us was ignited. We would meet often on the pretext of study sessions, but deep down, I knew it was just a matter of time before we became a couple. I was giddy with the thought of her being my girlfriend soon. The future looked rosy, until the fateful night of the party.
One evening, I was partying with my friends at Connaught Place (the party place of the college campus), sharing the latest gossip of the campus and passing around cigarette puffs. While I was indulged in the party, I did not notice that Reena had showed up too with her friends. Our eyes met, and she spotted me smoking and to make matters worse, blowing smoke rings. Without a word, she picked up her bicycle and left.
Reena was a studious girl who loathed smoking, rarely ventured to Connaught Place as it was not her scene. I was left to ponder what her next move would be when the following day, a friend of hers knocked at my door.
“She wants you to quit smoking!” he declared.
“Who wants me to quit smoking?” I asked, feigning ignorance.
“Reena wants you to quit smoking,” he asserted.
“And if I don’t?” I inquired in a rebellious tone.
“She won’t talk to you anymore,” he warned.
I paused for a few moments, as though giving it some thought, then looked him straight in the eye and uttered,
“Tell her to fuck off!” as I lit up another cigarette.
Little did I know that this mischievous messenger would deliver my blunt message verbatim. I mean, he did not even try to cushion the message a bit. When the message was conveyed, I expected Reena to bargain with me, maybe even offer an allowance deal like “You can smoke, but not more than half a pack a day, and we’ll be good.” But no, the lady cut me off entirely. She never spoke to me again, at least not until college was over. It was a hard blow, and life sucked once again. But who was I to complain? I had brought it upon myself. I was back to square one. Sad, lonely, bitter and blowing cigarette smoke rings.
Then came the fourth year, the final one. I was still a celibate in my final year of college…a time eternal! I had completely put the thought of being in a relationship on the back burner and had started counting down to graduating from college, hopefully with a job. But like they say – the darkest hour is just before the dawn, here came another girl from my state again, an ambitious wanna-be 10 pointer (GPA 10), utterly captivated by my “How I made a 10 and transferred to A7” story. She was clingy and always wanting to know the secret formula of securing a perfect 10! Well, it didn’t take long. She didn’t make a 10 but I finally checked the box on my bucket list.
“Traitor!” is what my still-lonely friends called me when I started missing my attendance from our evening stag sessions. After all, I had better things to do now than massaging our bruised ego by coming up with a hundred reasons why our life is better without a girlfriend over a bottle of beer or whiskey.
And like they say “When it rains, it pours.” I didn’t just have one but two girlfriends at the same time. The other one was my girlfriend’s best friend who fell for me since all three of us spent a lot of time together.
From A’s to C’s
I was overzealous in my new company and spent most of my time in the gardens and secret hideouts established by the couple’s community for fellow lovebirds! I remember I was once laying my head in the lap of my girlfriend looking up at the beautiful blue sky cherishing the romantic time when she interrupted.
“Don’t you have an assignment submission and viva today?”
I leaped off her lap as a thousand-volt electric current ran through my body.
“Oh shit! I totally forgot about it! What’s the time now?” My eyeballs got fixated on her wristwatch when I asked her the time.
“It’s 2:30 pm.” she said.
“Come with me.” I dragged her along as I rushed out of the garden.
“But where are we going?” She asked.
“To submit my assignment!” I replied.
“Do you have the assignment ready?” She asked.
“No, but I will quickly make a copy of the program from someone.” I said and we rushed to my hostel.
While she waited outside my hostel, I looked around and found my batchmate Manish who was running to his instructor’s office for the submission.
“Have you completed the assignment yet?” I asked Manish.
“Yes, I have. I am going to submit it now. I’m in a rush.” He replied shoving me aside.
“Okay. But hold on a second, let me copy your assignment. I haven’t completed mine yet!” I pleaded.
“No way! The instructor will find out and give a zero to both of us!” He said.
“Don’t worry man. He won’t. There are hundreds of submissions! Won’t you help your friend in need?” I was almost begging.
He paused for a moment, looked at me from top to bottom and I don’t know what he saw, but he put his floppy in my hand and said.
“Make it quick and make sure you don’t fuck up, or we both are busted!”
“I love you man! I owe you one!” I was elated.
I made a quick copy of the floppy and a few minutes later, my girlfriend and I were headed to my instructor’s office to submit the assignment. I asked her to wait outside as I entered the instructor’s office with the floppy in my hand.
“Are you here to submit your assignment?” The instructor asked.
“Yes, Sir. Here it is.” I replied handing over the floppy to him.
“Okay. Have a seat.”
He inserted the floppy into the computer and started reading the code. A few seconds later, he looked at me and said, “Okay, explain the code to me.”
I started reading the code and explained each line along the way while my eyes scanned the code ahead. I really thought I would be able to figure out the code on the fly and would be able to answer the instructor’s questions. But then came the moment of truth. I stumbled upon a piece of code that left me clueless. Those few seconds of pause were enough for the instructor to figure out that there was something fishy.
“Have you copied the assignment?” He asked.
I knew I was caught, and there was no way out except to acknowledge the truth.
“Yes, Sir, I have.” In my mind, I had already started preparing to be the victim of the cold-blooded murder of my assignment as I said this.
I guess he was so amused by my admission of guilt that his tone suddenly changed to sarcastic.
“Okay. I know a lot of people have copied the assignment, but did you at least try to understand what you have copied before coming to me for submission?”
I was embarrassed at this point. All I wanted was to bury my head in the ground so no one could see me. But I had to try to save a little bit of leftover dignity before calling it quits.
“I’m sorry, sir. I didn’t get a chance to,” I said. I still cannot believe to this day why I could not come up with anything better than this ridiculous excuse of a superlative degree. What the hell was I smoking?
“Oh really? Were you busy building an airplane?” His sarcasm had intensified.
I was speechless. I knew I had doomed myself and there was no way out of this.
“I’m sorry, sir. But will you give me a zero for this assignment for copying it?” I asked anxiously.
“No, I won’t. I may award you a 20 for at least putting an effort to copy it!” His sarcasm was at full thrust. I was still not sure if it was for real or if he was just playing a mind game with me like how a cat plays with the mouse before murdering it.
To my surprise, it was for real. He did award me a 20, and that was enough to put a wide smile on my face. I could not believe I was still going to get some marks for doing nothing!
“Thank you, sir. Can I go now?” I asked, dying to run out of the room.
“Yes, you can.”
As soon as he nodded, I sprinted out of his office. My girlfriend was waiting for me outside and saw me coming with a smile on my face, which of course surprised her, as she was expecting a disaster.
“How was it?” she asked.
“He’s not going to give me a zero! I’ll make a C!” I proudly replied as we headed to our usual hideaway, locking our hands, swaying them up in the air in triumph!
Campus Interviews – Who Cares?
It was the last semester in college and the campus interview had begun. The year was 2002. The year was still young, and the memory of the 9/11 event that had rocked the economy was still fresh. A recession was underway, and jobs were scarce. I remember watching the breaking news of planes hitting the twin towers while playing carom in the common room of the hostel. I had little to no idea of the repercussions of this event on the economy until I started looking for a job.
I was selected for an interview with a company based on my CGPA, and my name was on the list of selected candidates on the college placement notice board. The campus was tense, and the streets that once hosted sloppy and reckless aspirants were now buzzing with dapper graduates. I, on the other hand, was having the best sleep of my life behind closed doors in my room.
“Oye, wake up! Oye…wake the fuck up!” I was woken up by the continuous banging on my door. All I wanted to do at that moment was to thrash whoever interrupted my sleep.
“Who is this? What the fuck do you want?” I screamed from inside while still lying in bed and squinting.
“Dude, your interview with Infosys was scheduled at 10 am, and it’s 11 am, and you’re still sleeping? Don’t you want a job in this recession?” He said with disgust.
“I don’t like Infosys. Now, let me sleep.” I yelled, burying my head under the pillow and falling back to sleep.
I think the real reason I did not want to face interviews was that I thought I was the lamest computer engineer on the entire campus. I couldn’t remember the last time I attended classes or opened a book sincerely. In all honesty, I was terrified. I wished that the companies would skip the interview part and select candidates based on their CGPA alone. But that was just wishful thinking. I was not ready to make a fool out of myself in an interview and face inevitable rejection.
“I’m going to prepare for UPSC anyway, so what’s the point of this temporary job!” That’s how I comforted myself.
A month later, I graduated from college with a B.E. (Hons.) in CS but without a job in hand. The only saving grace was a college-sponsored internship in one of the tech companies in Pune, which I was sure I did not deserve. There was no more room for procrastination. No more delays, no more mischief, no more idling. I felt like an orphan abandoned in the industry all by myself. The future looked bleak if not doomed. Those were uncertain times.
After taking a two-month break at home following my graduation, I was prepared to embark on a new chapter of my life [Read: First Job in India].
